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Literature Text
Dear Sir/Madame,
You are receiving this letter due to your remarkable inability to type in a comprehensible language, and your subsequent soiling of the _****_ forum. Those with mental disabilities, and those who learned English as a foreign tongue notwithstanding, one should never allow oneself to look quite so ignorant as you recently did. Should this embarassing and insulting bastardization of the written word continue, a sound pwning will be in order.
Good day.
You are receiving this letter due to your remarkable inability to type in a comprehensible language, and your subsequent soiling of the _****_ forum. Those with mental disabilities, and those who learned English as a foreign tongue notwithstanding, one should never allow oneself to look quite so ignorant as you recently did. Should this embarassing and insulting bastardization of the written word continue, a sound pwning will be in order.
Good day.
Literature
The Grammar Gangsters
Beware the grammar gangsters!
The mafia of the literary underworld.
They saunter into stanzas,
Weapons concealed
Under their trench coats
Or in violin cases.
They can make you talk,
"With just a few well-placed speech marks,"
Leave you shouting! Where you should have whispered!
And pulp your bold statements into quavering questions?
They can, pepper, your, phrases with, commas,
Or bring your piece to a dead.
Full.
Stop.
They'll trap you (between brackets)
As you - dash - to the exit.
Then: punch a blunted colon
Into the gut of your text
Or worse;
Force-feed you a poisonous semicolon,
Then hack/slash your work to shreds.
T
Literature
In Three Acts
man
cliff
sea
cliff
man
sea
cliff
sea
man
Literature
Sacramento Cheerio Massacre
The cheerios sat somberly in darkness surrounded by cardboard walls; their prison an impenetrable, recyclable fortress. They only lie awake, for they can not sleep. They remain silenced, for they have neither mouths, nor lips, nor tongues to speak with. All they can do is wait.
But for what? A skyline they have never seen? An ocean's swelling tide? How can they miss what they have yet to experience? These desolate questions stay unanswered. All they can wait for is for their shelf-life to expire and the cruel fate of becoming stale.
A sudden stirring of their penitentiary startled the small 'O's, forcing out thoughts of hopelessness and de
Suggested Collections
One of the series for use in the forums, as a convenient alternative to creating a witty repost for every one of the more common instances of n00bery.
The asterisks are intended to be replaced with the name of the forum in question, ie Deviants, Complaints, etc.
Do not take this idea and run with it as your own. I get enough shit already for being a plz account. I don't need you idiots taking my ideas, making them other than satirical, and then the blame being focused on me.
Thank you.
Patent Pending, All Rights Reserved.
The asterisks are intended to be replaced with the name of the forum in question, ie Deviants, Complaints, etc.
Do not take this idea and run with it as your own. I get enough shit already for being a plz account. I don't need you idiots taking my ideas, making them other than satirical, and then the blame being focused on me.
Thank you.
Patent Pending, All Rights Reserved.
© 2006 - 2024 failplz
Comments62
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You sir.
Have made my motherf***ing day. Have a cookie:
Have made my motherf***ing day. Have a cookie: