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Literature by FutileLC


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Submitted on
February 25, 2006
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Dear Sir/Madame,
You are receiving this letter due to your remarkable inability to type in a comprehensible language, and your subsequent soiling of the _****_ forum. Those with mental disabilities, and those who learned English as a foreign tongue notwithstanding, one should never allow oneself to look quite so ignorant as you recently did. Should this embarassing and insulting bastardization of the written word continue, a sound pwning will be in order.

Good day.
One of the series for use in the forums, as a convenient alternative to creating a witty repost for every one of the more common instances of n00bery.
The asterisks are intended to be replaced with the name of the forum in question, ie Deviants, Complaints, etc.

Do not take this idea and run with it as your own. I get enough shit already for being a plz account. I don't need you idiots taking my ideas, making them other than satirical, and then the blame being focused on me.
Thank you.

Patent Pending, All Rights Reserved.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrebelliouselite99:
RebelliousElite99 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
You sir.

Have made my motherf***ing day. Have a cookie: :cookie:
Reply
:iconkennex-the-fox:
Kennex-The-Fox Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL
Reply
:iconsamrickim:
SamRickim Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012  Student Photographer
"Those with mental disabilities and those who learned English as a foreign tongue notwithstanding, one should never allow oneself to look quite so ignorant as you recently did."

Corrected for great justice.
Reply
:iconpopcosplayer:
Popcosplayer Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Ah, the number of how many people out there that need to receive this is sad. Though this did however give me a good laugh. :) Never understood the whole, "I'm no longer on my phone but I'll still type like it anyways" thing. :/
Reply
:iconnixillumbreon:
NixillUmbreon Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Student Writer
I type like this from my phone. I don't find it too terribly inconvenient, and anytime I use an acronym or bad abbreviation, I have a reason, such as it being cold outside and I can't type through gloves or go inside. (For example, on the way to the bus on a cold and dark winter morning. :meow:)
Reply
:iconhikarishien:
HikariShien Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2010  Student General Artist
:rofl:
Reply
:iconsarahoftheshadows:
SarahOfTheShadows Featured By Owner May 31, 2010   Writer
:iconlarryplz:
Reply
:iconpb-zeppelinfan:
PB-ZeppelinFan Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2010  Hobbyist
Im using this. Ill be sure to link it, so dont you worry, Mr. D 'n D Dice Thingy.
Reply
:iconlittleg33k:
LittleG33K Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2010
:iconawesomenessplz: Poetic
Reply
:iconheiona:
HeionA Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
This should be sent to so many authors on Fanfiction.net. Fantastic.
Reply
:iconthe-max765:
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2010
:iconfreeinternetplz:
Reply
:iconkaye96:
Kaye96 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009   Writer
I almost fell out of my chair XD Great.
Reply
:iconkibahina4ever14523:
kibahina4ever14523 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Thank you, this is much appreciated.
Reply
:iconfailplz:
failplz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
:salute:
Reply
:iconimportantbenny:
ImportantBenny Featured By Owner May 6, 2009
How dare you butcher the English language by using the word "pwn"
Reply
:iconfailplz:
failplz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
Pwn's a word now, bub.
Reply
:iconimportantbenny:
ImportantBenny Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
Everything is a word now so WHO GIVES A SHIT
Reply
:iconfailplz:
failplz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
That's where you're wrong.
Also, question mark. Stop fucking up.
Reply
:iconimportantbenny:
ImportantBenny Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
I can say whatever I want however I want. It's called freedom of speech ya bimbo. Cry about it why don't ya? dickydick dickerton
Reply
:iconshaolin-vagabond:
Shaolin-Vagabond Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009
ugh... you self righteous pompous annoyances that feel the need to go around and nit pick everyone's grammar are intolerable. aww you can't deal with the new generation gramps?
grow up. if your going to dissect my sentence structure save it for my english essays. don't tell me shit when i'm sitting infront of my computer in my underpants.
LOLWTFBBQ ROFLCPTR KTHXBAI
Reply
:iconflygonmaster66:
flygonmaster66 Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ugh... You self righteous pompous annoyances that feel the need to go around and nit pick everyone's grammar are intolerable. Aww, you can't deal with the new generation, gramps?
Grow up. If you're going to dissect my sentence structure save it for my english essays. Don't tell me shit when I'm sitting infront of my computer in my underpants. Laugh out loud, what the fuck, barbecue. Roll on the floor laughing helicopter. Okay, thank you, goodbye.

There I fixed it.
Reply
:iconsamrickim:
SamRickim Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012  Student Photographer
*in front*
Reply
:iconfailplz:
failplz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010
You're an idiot.
Go play in traffic.
Reply
:iconechosblade:
EchosBlade Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Dear sir/madam who posted this

I fully agree with you, I too despise typing like that, and fully hope an aneurysm of stupid erupts in their brain sometime in the future.
Reply
:iconchelbells:
Chelbells Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2009
I second this^^
Reply
:iconechosblade:
EchosBlade Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
haha! thanks XD
Reply
:iconcharismaticbreeze:
charismaticbreeze Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2009
Oops. Sorry for the double post.
Reply
:iconcharismaticbreeze:
charismaticbreeze Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2009
:iconiloveyouplz:
Reply
:iconcharismaticbreeze:
charismaticbreeze Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2009
:iconiloveyouplz:
Reply
:iconsongsforimmortals:
SongsForImmortals Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009
Short, (sweet?) and to the point. Wonderful.
Reply
:iconzabaso:
Zabaso Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Student Artist
FOOL!
THE POWER OF THIS DOCUMENT IS TOO GREAT FOR MORTAL HANDS!
...as is my use of CAPS LOCK!
Do you have any idea of what you have unleashed?!
Reply
:icontheultamate:
TheUltamate Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I shall pwn the noobs with this! The power is in my hands. I shall use the force wisely, master.
How many good franchises did I just ruin in those sentences?
Reply
:icontwilight-woods:
twilight-woods Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2008
Full credit to you if I ever use this.
Reply
:iconmarylyn24:
marylyn24 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
YES. doesn't anyone give a shit about coherence?
Reply
:iconfoggypebble:
FoggyPebble Featured By Owner May 19, 2008
People who don't meet your elitest standard of friendly net-chat converse the way they do 'cause they're either too young, lacking mentally, or enjoy conversing that way; don't be an emo dumbbum and superimpose your concept of chatting, as nobody's impressed by your rude elitism.
People will continue to converse the way they do, 'cause that's just what will happen, without their intent to offend you.
Reply
:iconthechavsstolemename:
TheChavsStoleMeName Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2009
You suck.
Reply
:iconfoggypebble:
FoggyPebble Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2009
LOL indeed.
Reply
:iconstultuscaudex:
Stultuscaudex Featured By Owner May 5, 2008
BRILLIANT!!! :clap:
Reply
:iconhakeberhut:
hakeberhut Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2008
This looks useful. . .and would one be able to add something at the end, like "The Newcomers' Literacy Association"?
Reply
:iconhistheria:
Histheria Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2008
lolol pwning.
Reply
:iconslvrdrgn:
SlvrDrgn Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2008  Hobbyist Interface Designer
That is awesome!
Reply
:iconepicmyst:
EpicMyst Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*rolls on the floor and hits a table leg*

brilliance!
Reply
:iconjdzfallenangel:
jdzfallenangel Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2007
Bastardization is such an awesome word. XD
This is great.
Reply
:iconlucretia-stock:
lucretia-stock Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2007
:rofl: wow, this made my day!
Reply
:iconaprologuetothechaos:
aprologuetothechaos Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2007
LMAO!
You just made my day!
Reply
:iconanimefreak501:
AnimeFreak501 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2007
This is classic! :lol:
Reply
:icondreamillusion:
DreamIllusion Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2007
"Dear Sir/Madame,
You are receiving this letter due to your remarkable inability to type in a comprehensible language, and your subsequent soiling of the _****_ forum. Those with mental disabilities, and those who learned English as a foreign tongue notwithstanding, one should never allow oneself to look quite so ignorant as you recently did. Should this embarassing and insulting bastardization of the written word continue, a sound pwning will be in order.

Good day."


:lmao: Again, this is frigging epic. I think you may have inspired one person here to write something in this vein.

Fukken faved. :+fav:
Reply
:iconredfoxfan:
redfoxfan Featured By Owner May 1, 2007
Ah hahaha!

This will end larp speak once and for all.

"P3op1e, 1 n33d2 t3h h3lp!!!1111" Shut the hell up.
Reply
:iconfailplz:
failplz Featured By Owner May 3, 2007
First of all, it's called 1337 speak.
Secondly, this is fromt he same culture - how would it discourage the behavior?
Reply
:iconrostov-na-don:
Rostov-na-don Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's not pure!

It's gotta be smthing like

"Ppl i n33d t3h h3lp plz"
Reply
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